


What's Love?

by ashleyerwinner



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Complete, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-20
Updated: 2013-08-20
Packaged: 2017-12-24 03:26:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/934753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleyerwinner/pseuds/ashleyerwinner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel finds a camera, and snaps a picture that leads him to a very shocking discovery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's Love?

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first Destiel fluff I ever wrote. Enjoy!

It all started with a camera. It was probably lost, forgotten in the midst of an exciting afternoon, and it was found by Castiel. He always had a fixation with cameras, and pictures in general. Looking at pictures gave him insight into someone’s memories; memories that were etched in time, a second of a blissful moment in someone’s past.

So, Castiel stole it.

He didn’t feel bad about it at first. It was a decent camera, an old Polaroid, big and clunky, but reliable. He imagined all of the moments he could capture now that he had his own camera, all the moments he could look back on and remember in detail, to the last fabric that someone was wearing. For a while, Castiel didn’t even consider the fact that he could possibly have stolen someone’s else’s memories, not until he got back to Dean and Sam’s small, dark hotel room, and showed them.

“I found a camera.” He said, simply, but proudly, in his usual deep monotone. The corners of his mouth were turned slightly upwards as he looked at the brothers for their input.

Sam gave him a faltering half-smile, his nostrils flaring after he clenched his jaw and nodded. His eyes were compassionate, but conflicted, not unlike someone who was congratulating a child on a scrawled stick figure drawn on the wall.

This displeased Castiel. He expected the brothers to be happier for him. He looked over at Dean, wearing a worried expression.

“You _found_ it?” Dean growled, in an accusatory tone. He looked at Castiel with raised eyebrows. “As in, it was someone’s camera and you took it?” Castiel’s shoulders slumped. He hadn’t thought about that. His eyes slowly fell to the floor, ashamed of himself.

He heard Sam exhale, and looked up to the brothers sharing a compassionate look at each other across the room. Dean turned his attention to Castiel first.

“Cas,” Dean cleared his throat and glanced at the floor once more before looking up at Castiel again. “It’s okay, buddy. Huh… uh.” His eyebrows furrowed and he shrugged his shoulders. “And it’s not like me or Sam haven’t stolen anything before, huh?” He was smiling, laughing, and Castiel looked at him, still ashamed, but feeling better. He pointed the camera at Dean and snapped a picture.

The flash startled the hunters, and Castiel took the printed picture and waited for it to develop, missing the look of pure amusement on Sam’s face, and also the look of pure distaste and held back fury on Dean’s.

Sam was laughing now, and Cas looked up at him, all too innocently, and looked back at Dean.

“ _Cas.”_ His growl started off small and ended in a yell, and Castiel took that as his moment to depart.

 

**

 

Whenever Castiel left Dean and Sam, he usually ended up roaming the streets endlessly, still adjusting to the idea of sleep, or resting at all. The picture of Dean had long developed, and he hadn’t stopped looking at it since. Sitting on a bench in a park, he held the picture between his pointer finger and thumb, and studied every aspect of it.

Dean was beautiful. He had caught Dean in the midst of an actual amused smile, amused because of _Castiel_ (or the idea of Castiel stealing a camera). But the crinkles beside Dean’s eyes, to Dean’s dimples, Dean’s open-mouthed laugh, and the absolute perfection of Dean being Dean made him disregard any anger that might exist towards Castiel for even snapping the picture.

“He’s handsome.” A small voice said, and Castiel looked over at a small child sitting next to him, looking at the picture of Dean. “Why are you so sad?” She turned her attention to Castiel, her big brown eyes expectant with an answer.

“I am not sad.” He lied, and he felt bad about lying, so he shook his head slightly and turned back to her. “I’m human.” He said, shrugging slightly. The girl shrugged back at him.

“My mom looks at me like that man is looking at you.” She said, and pointed to Dean’s eyes. “He loves you. So you shouldn’t be sad.” Castiel felt a pull of his heart, and the girl smiled and skipped back to her mother, who was looking at Castiel worriedly, as if Castiel had tried to steal her only child. As they scurried away, angry whispers and all, Castiel sat back and thought about what the girl had said.

_Love?_

Castiel was unaware of what love felt like. He had come to experience almost every emotion, from sadness, to happiness, to panic, to anger, but love was different. Maybe it was harder to love someone.

Love was to feel for someone with all of your heart, but Castiel felt with all of his heart towards Lucifer, and towards Alastair, and sometimes even towards God, and that wasn’t a pleasant feeling at all. It felt like his heart was burning with black fire when he thought of them.

So how could that be love?

_What is love?_

And if Dean loved Castiel, why would he put himself through that kind of stressful feeling?

He had heard love songs on the radio, when Dean was away and it was just Castiel and Sam together. Soft, soothing songs about kisses and forever, and others about heartbreak, and sadness.

Who would purposely put themselves through that?

It was a human trait to love, and now that he was human, he was sure to feel it eventually.

But he didn’t want to, because love led to heartbreak, and he didn’t want heartbreak because he had felt sadness, and he was afraid of it.

Being human was hard.

 

**

 

Castiel had unknowingly walked back to the hotel, his body on auto-pilot while he himself was stuck thinking about love, and what exactly the girl meant when she said she saw love in Dean’s eyes.

He opened the hotel room door, and walked in on Dean pacing the room and Sam on the phone. They both snapped their heads at him as he closed the door, and Dean raised his hands up in utter disbelief, while Sam rolled his eyes and got off the phone with an aggravated scowl.

“Dude!” Dean walked towards Castiel, and punched his shoulder. “Where the _hell_ were you?” Dean was worried. Castiel didn’t answer him, but instead, showed Dean the picture he had taken of him, and pointed at his eyes. Sam had walked over, and now both of the brothers were sharing the same confused expression on their faces.

“You love me.” Castiel declared. Sam stiffened his posture, and then slowly shifted his weight, mumbled something about getting something to eat, and then left in a hurry, leaving the fallen angel and his brother to deal with whatever they had to deal with. Dean never changed his expression, which had turned to confusion to outright denial.

“You love me.” Castiel repeated, straightening his posture. His facial expression never changed either, but that was a trait of Castiel’s that he’s had since before he fell from grace, and Dean didn’t think much of it.

“I _love_ you?” Dean’s voice was full of amusement. Castiel’s heart fell, but he took a deep breath and pushed the feeling aside and nodded.

“You love me.” He repeated again, more sure of what he was saying now, and his stomach fluttered with the anticipation of disappointment. Dean chuckled and looked around the room before settling his eyes on Castiel again.

“Who told you that, Cas?” Dean asked, a smug little smirk on his face. Castiel was beginning to regret saying anything to Dean in the first place. His posture started to sag once more, and he replied. Dean _howled_ with laughter. Castiel pushed past him and slammed the bathroom door on his way in. How could he be so _stupid_? His eyes began to moisten, and he felt the weight of his heart becoming heavier and heavier.

There was a soft knock at the door. “Cas?” Dean’s voice sounded as sad as Castiel felt. He didn’t answer. He heard Dean sigh on the other side of the door, and then footsteps fading away.

_BANG!_

Dean had kicked in the door. Castiel jumped back, afraid of the door hitting him, or worse, Dean’s booted foot. Dean approached Castiel, a serious, focused look on his face. Castiel averted his eyes.

“I think perhaps I was wrong.” Castiel suggested, not looking at Dean. “I think possibly I mistook my love for you as your love for me.” Castiel swallowed the lump in his throat. “My heart hurts, and I think I broke it.” He didn’t look up.

“Cas.” Dean said softly. He didn’t say anything more. Castiel dared himself to look up at Dean. His blue eyes met with Dean’s green ones, which were sparkling with something that could have been mistaken once more for affection. Castiel tried to walk past Dean, a sad, small smile on his face.

Dean grabbed him by his sleeve, and pulled him close. His lips met Castiel’s with an abrupt force, and Castiel felt his heart repair itself, then explode. He leapt back from Dean with confusion written all over his face. Dean’s eyes were now swimming with what Castiel realized now was love, and something mixed in. _Lust._

Castiel’s whole body stirred with emotion, and he licked his lips. “You love me.” He declared for the fourth time. Dean rolled his eyes and then nodded.

“Yeah, Cas.” And Castiel fell into Dean, goofily smiling, and he realized, love wasn’t an emotion he’d never experienced before.

He had fallen for Dean before he had even become human.

It was an effortless feeling, and still unexplainable, and Castiel thought, as he clumsily kissed Dean again, who cares what it means?


End file.
